[Contents]

[Previous: The difference between the third and fourth commandments, &c.]

[Next: The sum of the sixth commandment.]

Evan. By father and mother is meant, not only natural parents, but others also that are our superiors, either in age, in place, or in gifts, (2 Kings 5:13, 6:21, 13:14).

Neo. And why did the Lord use the name of father and mother to signify and comprehend all other superiors?

Evan. Because the government of fathers is the first and most ancient of all others; and because the society of father and mother is that from whom all other societies do come.

Neo. And are the duties of inferiors towards their superiors only here intended?

Evan. No, but also of superiors towards their inferiors, and of equals amongst themselves; so that the general duty required in the affirmative part of this fifth commandment, "Honour thy father and thy mother," &c., is, that every man, woman, and child, be careful to carry themselves as becomes them in regard to that order God hath appointed amongst men, and that relation they have to others, either as inferior, superior, or equal.

Neo. I pray you, sir, proceed to the particular handling of these things; and first tell us what is the duty of children towards their parents.

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that children do reverence their parents, by thinking and esteeming highly of them, (Gen 31:35); and by loving them dearly, (Gen 46:29); and by fearing them in regard of their authority over them, (Lev 19:3). And this inward reverent esteem of them is to be expressed by their outward reverent behaviour towards them, (Gen 48:12). And this outward reverent behaviour is to be expressed in giving them reverent titles, (Gen 31:35), and by bowing their bodies before them, (1 Kings 2:19), and by embracing their instructions, (Prov 1:8), and by submitting patiently to their corrections, (Heb 12:9), and by their succouring and relieving of them in case of want and necessity, (Gen 47:12), and by making their prayers unto God for them, (1 Tim 2:12).

Neo. And, sir, what be the duties of parents towards their children?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment does require, that parents be careful to bring their children, with all convenient speed, in due order, to be admitted into the visible church of God by baptism, (Luke 1:59); and that they, according to their ability, do yield and give unto their children such competent food, clothing, and other necessaries, as are fit for them, (Matt 7:9,12, 1 Tim 5:8).

And that they train them up in learning, instruct them in religion, and endeavour to sow the seeds of godliness in their hearts, so soon as they be able to speak, and have the use of reason and understanding, (Deut 4:10, 6:7,20,21). And that they be careful to check and rebuke them when they do amiss, (Prov 31:2); and that they be careful seasonably to correct their faults, (Prov 13:24, 19:18); and that they be careful in time to train them in some honest calling, (Gen 4:2); and that they be careful to bestow them in marriage in due time, (Jer 29:6, 1 Cor 7:36,38); and that they be careful to lay up something for them, as their ability will suffer, (Prov 19:14, 2 Cor 12:14); and that they be earnest with God in prayer, for a blessing upon their children's souls and bodies, (Gen 48:15,16).

Neo. And what be the duties of servants towards their masters?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that servants have an inward, high, and reverent esteem of their masters, (Eph 6:5- 7); yea, and that they have in their hearts a reverent awe and fear of them, (1 Peter 2:18); and this reverence and fear they are to express by their outward reverent behaviour towards them, both in word and deed, as by giving them reverent titles, (2 Kings 5:23,25), and by an humble, submissive countenance and carriage, either when their masters speak to them, or they speak to their masters, (Gen 24:9, Acts 10:7); and by yielding of sincere, faithful, willing, painful, and single- hearted service to their masters in all they go about, (Col 3:22, Titus 2:10); and by a meek and patient bearing of those checks, rebukes, and corrections which are given to them, or laid upon them by their masters, without grudging stomach, or sullen countenance, though the master do it without just cause, or exceed in the measure, (1 Peter 2:18,20); and by being careful to maintain their master's good name, in keeping secret those honest intents which he would not have disclosed; and, as much as may be, to hide and cover their master's wants and infirmities, not blazing them abroad, (2 Sam 15:13, 2 Kings 6:11).

Neo. And what is the duty of masters towards their servants?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that masters be careful to choose unto themselves religious servants, (Psa 101:6); and that they do instruct them in religion and the ways of godliness, (Gen 18:19); and that they be careful to bring them to the public exercises, (Josh 24:15); and that they do daily pray with them and for them, (Jer 10:24); and that they do yield and give unto them meat, drink, and apparel fitting for them, (Deut 24:14,15); and that they see to them that they follow the works of their callings with diligence, (Prov 31:27); and that they be careful to instruct them, and give them direction therein, (Exo 35:34); and that they be careful to give them just reproof and correction for their faults, (Prov 29:29, 19:29); and that they look carefully unto them when they are sick, (Matt 8:5,6).

Neo. And what is the duty of wives towards their husbands?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that wives do carry in their hearts an inward opinion and esteem for their husbands, (Eph 5:33); the which they are to express in their speeches, by giving them reverent titles and terms, (1 Peter 3:6); and in their countenance and behaviour, by their modesty, shamefacedness, and sobriety, (1 Tim 2:9); and in being willing to yield themselves to be commanded, governed and directed by their husbands in all things honest and lawful, (Gen 31:4,16,17, 2 Kings 4:22); and they are also required to love their husbands, (Titus 2:4), and to express their love by their chastity and faithfulness to their husbands, both in body and mind, (Titus 2:5, 1 Tim 3:11); and by their using the best means they can to keep their husbands' bodies in health, (Gen 27:9). They are also required to be helpful to them in the government of the family, and to be provident for their estate, by exercising themselves in some profitable employment, (Prov 31:13,15,19); and they are also required to stir up their husbands to good duties, and join with them in the performance of them, (2 Kings 4:9,10); and to pray for them, (1 Tim 2:12).

Neo. And what is the duty of husbands towards their wives?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment requires that husbands be careful to choose religious wives, (2 Cor 6:14); and that they dwell with them as men of knowledge, (1 Peter 3:7); and that they cleave unto them with true love and affection of heart, (Col 3:19); yea, and that they content themselves only with the love of their own wives, and keep themselves only to them both in mind and body, (Prov 5:19,20); they are also to be careful to maintain their authority over them, (Eph 5:23); and to live cheerfully and familiarly with them, (Prov 5:19); and to be careful to provide all things needful and fitting for their maintenance, (1 Tim 5:8); and to teach, instruct, and admonish them, as touching the best things, (1 Sam 1:8); and to pray with them and for them, (1 Peter 3:7); and to endeavour to reform and amend what they see amiss in them, by seasonable and loving admonition and reproof, (Gen 30:2); and wisely and patiently to bear with their natural infirmities, (Gal 6:2).

Neo. And what is the duty of subjects towards their magistrates?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that subjects do think and esteem reverently of their magistrates, (2 Sam 10:16,17); and that they carry in their hearts a reverent awe and fear of them, (Prov 24:21); the which they are to express by their outward reverent behaviour towards them, both in word and deed, (2 Sam 9:6,8); and by an humble, ready, and willing submitting of themselves to their commands, either to do, or to suffer, (1 Peter 2:13); and by yielding a loyal and sound-hearted love to them, in not shrinking from them when they have need, but defending them with their goods, bodies, and lives, if occasion require, (2 Sam 18:3, 21:27); also they are required to make their prayers unto God for them, (1 Tim 2:12).

Neo. And what is the duty of magistrates towards their subjects?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that magistrates be careful to establish good laws in their kingdoms, and good orders among their subjects, (2 Kings 18:4, Rom 12:17); and that they be careful to see them duly and impartially executed, (Jer 38:4,6, Rom 13:3,4); and that they be careful to provide for the peace, safety, quietness, and outward welfare of their subjects, (Rom 13:4, 1 Tim 2:2), and not to oppress them with taxations and grievances, (1 Kings 12:14).

Neo. And what duties are people to perform towards their minister?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that the people have their minister in reverent account and estimation, (1 Cor 4:1); and that they humbly and willingly yield themselves to be taught and directed in their spiritual affairs by him, (Heb 13:17); and that they pray for him, that the Lord would enable him to do his duty, (Rom 15:30,31); and that they do their best to defend him against the wrongs of wicked men, (Rom 16:4); and that they yield unto him double honour, that is, both singular love for their work's sake, and sufficient maintenance, both in regard of his person and calling, (1 Tim 5:17,18, Gal 4:15).

Neo. And what is the duty of a minister towards the people?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that ministers do diligently and faithfully preach the pure word of God unto their people, both in season and out of season, (1 Cor 9:16, 2 Kings 4:2); and that they do so truly and plainly expound the same, that the people may understand it, and that they pour out their souls to God in prayer, for the spiritual good of the people, (1 Thess 1:2); and they go before the people, as a pattern of imitation to them, in all holiness of conversation, (Phil 4:9).

Neo. And what is the duty of equals?

Evan. Why, the Lord in this commandment doth require, that equals regard the dignity and worth of each other, and carry themselves modestly one towards another, and in giving honour to one before another, (Eph 5:21, Rom 12:10). And thus having showed you the duties required in this commandment, I pray you, Nomologista, tell me whether you think you have kept it perfectly or no.

Nom. Sir, though I have not kept it perfectly, yet I am persuaded I have gone very near it; for when I was a child, I loved and reverenced my parents, and was obedient unto them; and when I was a servant, I reverenced and feared my master, and did him faithful service; and since I became a man, I have, I hope, carried myself well towards my wife, and towards my servants; yea, and done my duty both to magistrates and ministers.

Evan. Aye, but I must tell you, the Lord doth not only require you to do them, but also that you do them in obedience unto him; that is, in conscience to God's commandment, or for his sake, even because he requires it. Therefore, although you did your duty to your parents, when you were a child, and to your master when you were a servant, yet if you did it either for the praise of men, or for fear of their corrections, or to procure a greater portion, or greater wages, and not because the Lord says, (Eph 6:4), "Children, obey your parents in the Lord"; and because he says to servants, "Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men," you have not in so doing kept this commandment; and though you have loved your wife, and every way carried yourself well towards her, yet if it have been either because she is come of rich parents, or because she is beautiful, or because she brought you a good portion, or because she some way serves and pleases you after the flesh, and not because the Lord says, (Eph 5:25), "Husbands, love your wives"; you have not therein kept this commandment: and though you have carried yourself ever so well towards your servants, yet if it have been that they might praise you, or to make them follow your business more diligently and faithfully, and not because the Lord says, "Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal," you have not therein kept this commandment: and though you have done your duty ever so well towards your magistrate, yet if it has been for fear of his wrath, and not for conscience sake, viz: because the Lord says, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers," you have not therein kept this commandment: and though you have given your minister his due maintenance, and invited him often to your table, and carried yourself ever so well towards him, yet if it have been that he or others might think you a good Christian, and a kind man, and not because the Lord says, (Gal 6:6), "Let him that is taught in the word, communicate unto him that teacheth, in all good things," you have not therein kept this commandment.

Neo. Well, sir, I cannot tell what my neighbour Nomologista hath done, but for mine own part, I am sure, I have come far short of doing my duty in any relation I have had to others; for when I was a child, I remember that I was many times stubborn and disobedient to my parents, and vexed if I might not have my will, and slighted their admonitions, and was impatient at their corrections, and sometimes despised and contemned them in my heart, because of some infirmity, especially when they grew old; neither did I pray for them, as it seems I ought to have done; and the truth is, if I did yield any obedience to them at all, it was for fear of their corrections, or some such by-respects, and not for conscience towards God. And when I was a servant, I did not think so reverently, nor esteem so highly of my master and mistress as I should have done, but was apt to slight and despise them, and did not yield such humble, reverent, and cheerful obedience as I should have done; neither did I patiently and contentedly bear their checks and rebukes, but had divers times risings and swellings in my heart against them; neither was I so careful to maintain their good name and credit as I ought to have been; neither did I pray unto the Lord for them as I ought to have done; and the very truth is, all the obedience and subjection which I yielded unto them, was for fear of their reproofs and corrections, or for the praise of men, rather than in conscience to the Lord's commandment.

And when I entered into the married estate, I was not careful to choose a religious wife; no, I aimed at beauty more than piety; and I have not dwelt with my wife as a man of knowledge; no, I have expressed much ignorance and folly in my carriage towards her; neither have I loved her so as a husband ought to love his wife, for though it be true I have had much fond affection towards her, yet I have had but little true affection, as it hath been evident in that I have been easily provoked to anger and wrath against her, and have not carried myself patiently towards her; neither have I been careful to maintain mine authority over her, but have lost it by my childish and indiscreet carriage towards her; neither have I lived so cheerfully and delightfully with her as I ought to have done, but very heavily, discontentedly, and uncomfortably have I carried myself towards her; neither have I been careful to instruct and admonish her as I ought; and though I have now and then reproved her, yet for the most part it has been in a passion, and not with the spirit of meekness, pity, and compassion; neither have I prayed for her either so often or so fervently as I ought; and whatsoever I have done, that has been well done, I have been moved thereunto, in former times especially, rather by something in her, or done by her, than by the commandment of God. And since I became a father and a master, I have neither done my duty to my children nor servants as I ought, for I have not had such care, nor taken such pains for their eternal good, as I have done for their temporal. I have had more care, and taken more pains to provide food and raiment for them, than I have to admonish, instruct, teach, and catechize them; and if I have reproved or corrected them, it has been rather because they have some way offended me, than because they have offended God; and truly, I have neither prayed for them so often, nor so fervently as I ought. In a word, whatsoever I have done by way of discharging my duty to them, I fear me, it has been rather out of natural affection, or to avoid the blame, and gain the good opinion of men, than out of conscience to the Lord's will and commandment.

And if I have at any time carried myself well, or done my duty either to magistrate or minister, it has rather been for fear or praise of men, than for conscience sake towards God; so far have I been from keeping this commandment perfectly: the Lord be merciful unto me!

Evan. Assure yourself, neighbour Neophytus, this is not your case alone, but the case of every man that has stood in all these relations to others, as it seems you have done, as I am confident any man that truly knows his heart will confess, yea, and any woman that is well acquainted with her own heart, I am persuaded, will confess, that she has not had such a reverent esteem and opinion of her husband as she ought, nor so willingly yielded herself to be commanded, governed, and directed by him as she ought, nor loved him so truly as she ought; nor been so helpful to him any way as she ought, nor prayed either so oft or so fervently for him as she ought; and I fear me, most women do all that they do rather for fear of their husband's frowns, or to gain his favour, than for conscience to the Lord's will and command.

And where is the magistrate that is so careful to establish in his dominions such good and wholesome laws as he ought, or to see them executed or put in practice as he ought, or that is so careful to uphold and maintain the truth of religion as he ought, or that is so careful to provide for the peace, safety, and welfare of his people as he ought? Or where is the magistrate that does not do what he does for some other cause, or some other end, rather than because God commands them, or to the end he may please him?

And where is the minister that does his duty so in his place as he ought? I am sure, for mine own part, I have neither so diligently nor faithfully preached the pure word of God as I ought; nor so fully nor truly expounded it and applied it to my hearers as I ought; nor so poured out my soul to God for them in prayer as I ought; neither have I gone before them as a pattern of imitation in holiness of life and conversation, as I ought: the Lord be merciful to me!

Neo. Well, sir, now I entreat you to proceed to speak of the sixth commandment as you have done of the rest.

[Previous: The difference between the third and fourth commandments, &c.]

[Next: The sum of the sixth commandment.]