QUESTION: Some have desired to be informed, “Whether in case of the absence or sickness of a husband from or in the family, it be incumbent on the wife to keep up family duty in such a case?” And the case is the same as to widows, or others of that sex, who are sole governesses of families.

Answer: it must be said in general to this, that one rule cannot be suited to all cases. There may be very great variety as circumstances differ. But,

1. Nothing is plainer than that while the conjugal relatives remain, the female relation hath a real part in the government of the family. That is plainly enough asserted in 1 Timothy 5:14: that it is the woman's part to “guide the house.” The word is oikodespotein, to have a despotical1 power in the family, a governing power, which must be solely in her in the absence or failure of the other relative; and that must by no means be abandoned or quitted. And whereas all power and all order is from God, it cannot be denied or disowned or laid aside without an injury to Him.

2. Hereupon, if there be in a family a prudent pious son or a prudent pious man-servant, who may be assigned to this work, it may fitly enough be done by such a one by her appointment. And so the authority that belongs to her in her station is preserved and the thing done. That such a work as that is may be assigned to another, is out of all doubt and ought to be so, where it may most fitly and most duly be so. And none question the fitness of assigning such a work statedly to another, in such families where persons are kept on purpose for the discharge of family duties.

3. It is possible, there may be families that do entirely at present consist of those that are of the female sex; and concerning them there is no question.

4. Where the family is more numerous, and consists of the male sex, of whom none are fit or willing to undertake that business, and it cannot be done by the governess with decency or to edification; in that case she is to follow the example of Esther, (a very laudable one,) with her maidens and younger children still to keep up to this worship in her family; and, as much as in her lies, to warn and charge the rest, that they be not omissive for their part, (though they do not concur with them,) together or severally in calling on the name of the Lord daily.

1 despotical – literally from the GK, “to command and give leadership to a household, to manage a home.”

John Howe (1630-1705): non-Conformist Puritan author and preacher. Chaplain to Oliver Cromwell. Born in Loughborough, England.